Wednesday, November 28, 2012

Biggest Disappointment EVER!

“Today I got a notification on my phone telling me that my mom had tagged me in a Facebook post saying, ‘I’m so excited for Emma and Isabel to get home from school’.  Of course my hopes automatically shot up.  I thought, ‘Maybe we got a court date!’ and then got really excited!  When I got home, I found out that my mom was just being nice.  I have never been so disappointed in all my life.”  -Isabel

Currently, our family is anxiously waiting to hear from the Ukrainian government.  Every prayer we utter is pleading for our court date to come soon.  Really soon. 

Lately we’ve realized that we aren’t the only ones anxiously waiting for this event.  Here are two of my recent messages from Albina:

Albina Truax:
Hi! I am very glad that you had a fun Halloween! I would be happy with you dressed in a nerd! When you go to Ukraine write!  Give my greetings to all, I miss ...

Hi all! Thank you for the presents, we really liked them!!!! I especially liked the slippers Max, if they were more, I'd wear them =) When you arrive? Miss .........

Albina has seen the comings and goings of many families over the last few months.  Families that come and leave with their newly adopted son or daughter.  While this gives her hope, it also makes her anxious.  We try to explain the process as best we can, but it’s difficult.  I hope she understands that we are doing everything we can to get to her as quickly as possible!  I sincerely hope that we are able to get to Ukraine before she begins to worry or wonder if we are really, truly coming for her. 

There was a period of time that she seemed to lose hope.  It was hard to feel her pull back.  It was difficult to see her put up walls.  We don’t want her to experience that again.  And if we don’t get to Ukraine before the holidays, we fear that she will begin to question whether or not it’s worth hoping and dreaming that she will be able to join a forever family.

We need lots of prayers!

And yes!  We need lots of support.  We still have a lot of money to raise before we head to Ukraine in the next few weeks (did you notice that positive affirmation?).  For Christmas, we want to make Albina’s dreams of having a family come true (as well as Alina’s and Maks’). 

We need angels such as yourself to swoop in and help make this their best Christmas ever!

Finally, I wanted to share how James is feeling about our journey and our progress.  Albina grew to really love James over the summer.  And why wouldn’t she?  He is an amazing father!  He was able to figure out ways to easily communicate and make sure she was comfortable and really felt like a part of our family.

It is hard to explain how I feel about our Ukrainian kids. Without going through an adoption, one probably can’t begin to imagine how some orphans from Ukraine, which we have known for such a short time, actually feel as much our children as our biological children. Shelly says it is similar to childbirth – although you have never met the baby you are carrying, you grow to love him/her with an immense, unimaginable love.

“I have grown to miss these, our Ukrainian, children immensely as any father would miss his children that are separated and particularly when they are in a challenging situation.

“There have been emotional ups and downs – very sad times (like when we were forced to say good bye and send them back to the orphanage)

“There have been good times (like when we get pictures of the kids or hear from them (like: Albina Truax “Hi all! How are you doing? I'm fine! I study well. When you arrive? Emma birthday tomorrow, cool, I will congratulate you tomorrow! Bye”

“Some of the most touching communications are when we are asked when we will arrive or inquire if we are still thinking of them (like: Albina Truax – “Hi James, I'm glad you write to me and do not forget me! You from Alina and Maxim hello!”)

“Their anxious questions of “how soon?” and “are you still thinking of us?” and the implied “do you still want us?” really cut deep. It reminds me of why we are doing this even though it is hard.  It gives me strength even though there are challenges.  And it reinforces my resolve to never, ever give up even though there are those that tell us we are crazy.

“I love these kids, I miss them and want them back in our home and I will do whatever it takes to get them here.” – James


  1. This post made me BAWL! My heart just aches for you all. Again, you are in our prayers. We will pray for the court date and the finances. We love you!!

    1. I love you so much Tamari! You are such an amazingly supportive friend. What would I do without you? Thank you for everything!